The Other Mother

...and one more thing THANK-YOU! Step mom's often do not get enough credit and your artwork depicts my feelings on most days. It's nice to know that there are others out there that feel the same way. I appreciate the true humor behind it all.

I would also love to have "trophy wife" on a t-shirt is this going to be something you'd consider doing?

Thank-You!!! It is a small bit of humor for our situation. My husband has full custody of his son and I have raised my stepson for the last three years (since he was two). Although hubby was never married to bio-mom... the child support, threats, subpoenas, irresponsibility are all part of the equation. I have printed out one of the pieces to keep in my purse for strength (you will always be mummy...) I constantly take responsibility for stepson's emotional problems and shortcomings, but I'm not "allowed" to be proud of his strengths and accomplishments... As he progresses I will continue to be secretly proud of him. He is a gem from some cold, icy place!

I appreciate your creativity and accurate portrayal of life as a stepmom. It's nice to know we are NOT ALONE!! Thank-you.

Wonderful art work...I am a stepmom to three wonderful children with an unreal bio mom. I can so relate to much of the art. My husband said as I read them to him.. "Oh sounds like someone has met my ex".. :) thanks for the encouragement and letting us know we aren't alone!!

I would LOVE to have the "Trophy Wife" on a t-shirt. Is that in consideration??

Wow! I think your exhibition summed up that portion of my life. "Happy Holidays" is to a T my husband's ex and her philosophy towards our holidays. "Just Hang Up" is what we dealt with for 75% of the time. "Soul Custody" was typically what she threatened with whenever she called and couldn't get what she wanted. "Lil' Soldiers" is my stepson to a T. He is her spy because she has made him that way. "Constant Problems" sums up the way "she" is at her houshold and the struggles that we face due to "her" lack of parenting.

Thank you! You have expressed the feelings of being a stepmother and how the world views us. Your artwork brought me to tears, because someone was finally expressing exactly how I feel 365 days a year. I constantly feel that I take care of my stepson and his mother simply "plays house." We have joint custody and for years she has always thrown the threat of "If you don't... I'll sue for full custody." Thank you for bringing this to the eyes of the public. Stepmothers aren't evil like the fairy tales show. We are "the other mother" just without the title. Thank you!

thanks! i needed that!

BRILLIANT! I will gladly give up every single item of clothing i own for one of those printed on a tshirt (which I would absolutelyneverofcooooursenot wear to my stepchild's next school function)... Great site!

I wanted to cry when I saw "Do You Swear" and "You Crow." My husband is a terrific father with a horrible ex-wife (who happens to be a lawyer). She endeavours daily to make his life, and mine by default, as chaotic as possible. She is disrespectful, and she never gets her comeupence. The worst thing I have seen from her YET is that my husband received a text saying that the kids were calling her live-in, barely employed boyfriend "dad." It makes me sick to my stomach to know that all I will ever be able to say to her is, "You have wonderful children."

I would love to buy a T-shirt or two with these images. Any thoughts about doing something like that?

I have been a stepmother for ten years. Although my experience has been ok (not great, just ok...no legal battles, no name calling, but there has been distance between my stepdaughter and my husband that hurts him immeasurably...I just stay out of the way), I have to say NO ONE SHOULD EVER MARRY A MAN WITH CHILDREN UNLESS HE IS A WIDOWER OR UNLESS THE KIDS ARE GROWN AND OUT OF THE HOUSE. NO ONE...NOT EVER...NEVER...yeah, be the girlfriend forever (much better for you that way), but don't marry him 'til the kids are out of the house.

In my late 20's I became a stepmother to two small boys and stuck with it, believing that even with incredible strife, the right thing to do for them was to stay in their lives and try to be the voice of reason between their barely speaking biological parents. To say I lost something of myself and my marriage in the process would be an understatement. I felt vindicated and finally appreciated when my youngest stepson, the one who gave me most of my gray hairs, told his wife that he would not be alive, had it not been for my pushing him and refusing to allow him to fall through the cracks of our fractured, dysfunctional bio/step family. And that I meant a lot to him. Those remarks almost made up for all the years I lay awake at 3am, crying or worrying or alternately shaking with anxiety or anger. I am on this site because something has happened, after I had thought the emotions I had been through were long gone. I don't know what I will create, what I will pull out of the past -- I only know that your images were "right there" for me. I needed them, yesterday. I needed, after being "taken back there" to a degree, to at the same time, be reminded and comforted that it's not just me. It's the institution. It's the tradition! It's....I don't know what it is. But thank you for saying it in so many ways that I could not touch before. And thank you for giving me a new voice and a new direction for my creative energies. I will share whatever comes of this, with you. Best wishes to you and the ones you love, this holiday.

it is a great site -taken in context- Not an us agianst them. I have met alot of martyres in on both sides of the fence--The step side has so little support I think it is great--but I woun't wear a shirt that said anything negative about my kids-but I would laugh if I got one as a gift. thanks-take care-and feel good kr

I can sooo identify with the Stepparents' Pledge of Allegiance. No truer word written. My two "adult" stepdaughters yearn to break me, but didn't show this side until i DARED to tell one of them (23yrs old at the time) to watch how she spoke to her father infront of me in our house (well i said 'my' house which set her OFF on a bratty, angry tangent!!) Since then she has only called a 3-day long truce about a year ago, moved to another country with her partner and 6 year old daughter (our granddaughter)and won't even call our house to talk to her father in almost a year. Man...Get over it!!!! But i digress....yep the pledge of allegiance is ALL GOOD AND ALL TRUE!!!

THIS stepmom sooo appreciated all these truths...FINALLY!! TYTYTY

very, very,very well done. From a stepmom who raised 2 kids through adolescensce and teen years with the spector of their martyred, guilt-tripping mother always present. Will the kids ever get a clue about who their mother really was? Maryann Meador

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Hi Ladies: I'm not set up to financially or technically support a chat group. Please go to my links page to find existing chat groups because it **is** so important that we talk to each other! Best, Karen

can we have a chat group? I would love to be able to talk with some of you "other mothers" out there. :)

I was looking for some help in dealing with being a step-mom to my husbands daughter with an ex-girlfriend and stumbled upon your site and I have to say the blunt truth says it all instead of the "therapy" induced bullshit, this was a breath of fresh air, I'm dealing with a complete psycho of a so called mother of my 4yr step-daughter, a nightmare times a billion would be better than the crap she dishes out at least once a week for us. These are great pick me ups. I e-mailed your site to my friend who is in the exact same boat as me, so thanks for this honest and funny site of the twisted world of step syndrome....

Thanks, it's been almost ten years and I am sick to my stomach and wish I could just move out

my, but you are bitter aren't you? Have you considered that maybe you married into the wrong family? Is there no love? Is your kind of "stepmotherhood" karma for those who commit adultery? Please, get help.

Wow, the first thing I see on the site is stepchildren are angry, unruly, and spoiled? And determined to break me? This site is very negative... you think I would actually wear a t-shirt saying that my stepkids are angry, unruly, and spoiled? Or that my family would be as happy as the Brady Bunch if only my husband's ex-wife would die? This is twisted. I don't know what kind of sorry people came up with this, but I'm not that kind of stepmother. This is nuts.

hey can you gals get some coffe cups in your store for people to buy --it would be great

My sister in law sent me a note to look at your site-WOW iam a little shocked, the site did make me laugh though and made me want to talk to people about other coping strategies aswell.

Too true, all of it. :-( I would like to suggest making the art available on magnets. I would proudly display quite a few on my fridge.

I love the artwork! Not just for the messages they relay, but also the actual piece. The colors, design, they are terrific!

Other Mothers Unite! Thank you! I am a new step mom and I really needed the laughs and the honesty. Thank you, Karen! Your work is brilliant & your web page is excellent - I don't feel so alone anymore. Thank you!

I absolutely love your artwork! I have been going through some rough times with my husband and stepdaughter recently. I could see no humor in it at all until I happened upon your web site. Your artwork made me laugh and brought some joy to my hopeless, helpless attitude. Thank you. Janie

finally, someone says it like it really is!!!!!

Just starting year 2 of stepmother-hood, in the midst of year 3 of legal issues, they brought tears. How is it that women could be this way to other women? We are supposed to be the "nuturing" and "caring" gender -- how is it that it seems to skip some people. Anyhow, thank you. I am lucky, my children [yes, step-children] do not think of me as the "wicked" stepmother and are not brats. Alisa in Dayton, OH

You followed through with an idea I had awhile ago...I guess we can chalk that up to the "collective consciousness". Your work is inspiring, and very welcome. As a step-mother, and former graphic artist, I salute you. You have given real merit and dignity to the role of step-parentdom, through the eloquence of your art.

I like this.. pretty nifty!! ~ Asmidgin

Great site! -hismuse

I've been here several times now... I'm always amazed at how universal these problems are... Maybe we should all UNITE... Thanks for the laugh...

Thanks! Humor helps.

Please, oh please, will you create a "Trophy Wife" tshirt? I love that piece and would LOVE to wear it. Especially if it were available on a slinky tank top with skinny straps. ;-)

Thank you. Your piece about being a "trophy wife" truly made my day in the midst of a hellacious battle of parenting styles with my stepdaughter's mother. Bless you. You are the Patron Saint of Stepmothers.

I am sitting here today, on the internet, trying to find answers to some of this stepmother crap that I am going through....and the first site I see is this one! I love it - it has so little words (thumbnails) but it speaks volumes to me. It made me laugh at the same time, feel like I am not the only one. Thank you - I have this site bookmarked! Traci

I love, love, love this site. Especially, I will always be "mum"

I find myself returning every now and then to this site, I suppose for comfort and reassurance that I am not alone in my feelings. Thank you for maintaining this site!

So very,very happy to find this site!!!!!!!!!!!

I too am a Stepmother, or The Other Mother as I see that you like to call us. I too have been plagued with an evil, vindictive bio mother. Up until my husband and I moved in together, the bio mother had no problems with visitation between daughter and father. She is so desperate to get my children and myself out of the way, that she viciously went after my children, and falsely accused and reported my small children of sexually abusing her daughter. Of course now, my husband is not allowed to see his daughter, unless he goes alone to his ex's home. Apparently she will stop at nothing to get what she wants, and is willing to hurt anybody in her pursuit of happiness. She has gone as far as to hurt her own daughter by damaging the good relationship that was once shared between father and daughter. Their daughter always loved to spend time with and talk to her father. Now the daughter panics when faced with talking to her father over the phone. What has this woman done to this child? She ran my children, my husband and myself through the ringer with DHS and her false accusations. What is even scarier, is wondering what this woman will do next. At this point any and all advice or helpful hints, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.

Oh, how I have to list my thoughts!! I have been a SM forever, I think!! I got married young to a man with a child I thought how could I handle it, oh it was wild The little girl was a doll and called me mom The mother was a dear and was always so calm. Since the divorce I still see them all And now shes a teen and can handle anything without fall. We say it is because we all worked together We all understood that we could do it together. I couldnt understand what everyone meant When saying bad things about the step family Now as I am about to remarry I can see what a pain being a SM is!!! I am marrying a man with 2 little girls They have a BM that could give you curls!! They live with us, Now I am ready to run!!! When I have to see this woman that wears a bun!! She never shows up for the kids to take She doesnt even know, a cake you bake.. But heaven forbid the kids have plans This you know she will definately ban!! Now I am ready to strangle the dummy, The one that MY step girls call mummy!! This unfortunately is their mother And now I really feel like the other!!! Now I know what you ladies are singing When you discuss these horrible human beings!!!!! Sorry I am really not a poet but it sounded good!!!!!!

Best thing I've seen so far on all of these stepparenting websites. Really identifying crudely with the real issues at hand with no rose colored, and hopeful outlook is the first step to self empowerment and healing. At least when you're honest and grounded about a many times unfair and unpleasant situation, you can then look pragmatically to it's possible solutions, or just revel in it's sometimes humourous "Not-ness". Kudos to you for the grainy, blasted truth!

I know it makes me a jerk, but I just gotta say it. I hate my step daughter. The worst part is she is only 7. He has a son who is 8 and is so cool. We get along so well, it is amazing. But the girl is almost enough to make me leave. He treats her like a princess. She throws tantrums and is rewarded by hugs and getting out of punishments. Send her to bed, she spends the whole time screaming, crying, slamming doors and refusing to go to bed. Her bio mom hates me and it doesnt help. She tells them that she still loves their dad and that they will get back together someday. I get frustrated because I never had kids before, am only 22. Now I am pregnant and cant even get along with a 7 year old girl. I am terrified to have a baby now cause I dont want another girl like her. Her dad lets her talk her way out of everything. She fakes sick to stay home. Im not reaching either because about half an hour after she was supposed to leave, she is up bouncing, playing and acting fine. With me, when she stays home she stays in bed. He isnt like that and neither is her mom. How can one kid of theirs be so good, and the other one be such a brat. I do not like her, and feel bad about it. But I dont feel any fondness towards her. I know it is probably my fault sometimes. Should I just back off and not stick my nose in it?

how do you deal with a jealous ex-spouse(my husband's ex-wife). I've been married to my husbands for almost 8 yrs, and been together 4 yrs prior to that. I've always accepted my 2 step-children. Did everything possible to make them happy and accepted. They live with mom, and over the years they have spent every single holiday with us. What have I done wrong? I'm treated so terrible by my husband's ex. Let me say that it was the mother who begged, whined or pleaded or just plain asked, that they spend all their off school time with US. So I think I've done what I can possibly do, so why so much hate??? I love my step kids, and I have a daughter from a previous marriage, and my daughter and my step-daughter are extremely close. I have a beautiful blended family, my husband and I love each other alot. What can we do about his ex who just won't let go? Also, she left my husband for another man. So, I believe she has alot of regret and it taking her frustrations out on me. Could any one here please tell me how do deal with this? I'm a fair person, and I just want peace. Thanks for listening. Maggie

I am so glad you ae keeping this site open. It is essential. And it showcases your talents and amazing mind. Love, Carol Kerr

I love it!! Thank you so much.

i became a step mother in a most unusual way. Unusual because my husband never told me that I would be hated so viciously by his ex girlfriend (a one night stand when he was 19) and loved so dearly by his son. And it's the step mothers curse... to love a child SO MUCH yet be so removed from his life. My stepson wants to love me as much as I love him. He's known me since before he was a year old... he's now 4. Yet, his mother is the most important person in his life even though I see her as manipulative, lying bitch to be honest. I see his bruises. I hear his cries for help. What can I do? I'm just the stepmom... not very important in the eyes of the court. We can commiserate together. I'm a Stepmom and I need help.

being a stepmother is hard. Yet when that child cries from a minor injury and comes crying to you... it's like someone hugged your heart. They are special... just like you are. Hug yourself today because you deserve it!!! These children love YOU. And you love them.

Excellent! I put some of the artwork in my husband's file for a mediation appt with the X tomorrow!

wow - this is scary because it is hard to believe that the behavior of these socalled mothers could be so consistently evil that you could accurately capture it in postcard format. But yet, you have. Each and every postcard rang true for me, and for what I know from the lives of other stepmothers. You go girl!

THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! THIS MADE ME CRY AFTER MY STRESSFUL DAY--SOME TEARS OF JOY AND OTHERS OF--WOW HOW RIGHT YOU ARE!!

You made me laugh today, on a day when I didn't think I had any laughs left. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Thank you so much! This put a smile on my face after a stressful day!

This is the greatest page.

No doubt you have captured all that grows weary of words. Thank you. I too am a stepmother and "child" of divorce. I can't wait to add your site to my favorites at home. I accidentally found your site while at work. Guess maybe "He" does have a sense of humor as I feel this was a small divine moment. If you only knew how your site tickled me today. Thank you again. dkg in Nebraska

Oh my God...you've portrayed my life in digital imagery. Thank you for showing me I am not alone.

This hits all points! I am lucky my eldest stepson loves me and can not stand his Mother, although it does not stop the bitch from creating more havoc!

I just want to say thanks for the art work I was drowning in my sorrows about the holidays I guess Im not alone on the amount of joy shared during these times. Karen

WOW, your artwork touches a funnybone, pain that you have to laugh at! or go nuts. I have been step-parenting since my partner got full custody four years ago. Before that were two years of visitation and court appearances to enforce the visitation. What is it with BMs (no pun intended)? They contribute to the break-up of their marriages and when we the unsuspecting future step-moms come innocently into the picture, are cast into the role of home-wrecking villians. I didn't cause their marriage to dissolve but somehow I did something to bring on all this hate and resentment and jealously . I didn't expect to have custody thrown onto him by his ex's psychosis, but that is how it came down and now, providing a stable environment is somehow an evil thing. Sorry Bio mom's, but you couldn't do the job and now you have the nerve to resent someone who didn't ask for the job but is expected to provide what you couldn't. No body ever asked me what I wanted. If I'd known what I was in for I would have run for the hills and left my honey in the lurch. I wanted him, not the damn dog and the kids too. I raised my three and saw them out into the world, and believe me , being a step parent is 100 times harder than raising your own kids. You have all these restraints, all these things you're expected to do for these ingrates, and no matter what you do you will never be held in the same regard as the messed up, screwed up, bio mom who can do no wrong because she is messed up and thats her excuse for sending kids home in Nov. wearing shorts, no socks and having had no dinner on a Sunday nite at 8:30. Thank GOD for my own flesh and blood children who help keep me sane. These pictures are worth their wieght in gold.

I have question - if this site is supposed to be so formal, how do BMs get through the door??? They should hang a sign that says 'sorry, no dogs allowed - this includes the bitch he was married to'.....ha ha ha LMAO....

Isn't it funny how birth mother's run into this site and find nit-picky things to pin-point and nag (as usual) about? Seems that some are more worried about someone's spelling than the mess that they've created. There wouldn't even be a site like this if they didn't PISS US OFF!!! They need to get over the grammatical errors and see the big picture!!!

I made a post, in a dead moment of anger, just as most of you have. I've waited and then I've read back through what others have written after me. First and foremost, let me say that when you are in the heat of words, trying to describe your feelings through the strokes of a keyboard, the very last thing that you are worried about is some Webster-friendly critique pointing out missed commas and misuse of possessives. I'm sure everyone has done it a time or two - misspelled, misused or otherwise. As for run-on sentences, yes, I posted a few. My thoughts and feelings don't often come in complete sentence form. And, furthermore, I don't think you have to give birth or not to be associated with the English language. Anyone can express the way that they feel; happy, sad, or angry through speach or keystrokes. And for someone who can only comment on the use or misuse of what they feel should have been typed another way or in a different form should really find themselves something to complain about - find some laundry to do. As for me, if I misuse a word or a keystroke, well - that's just on me. I apologize to anyone that became offended by my run on sentences and misuse of the ever popular comma! I shall continue to write, just as I feel, with or without anyone's like of my work. Please do not be offended by my skipped apostrophes or missed letters. My college days have been over for a while now and since I am proudly from the south, my slang may be more vivid the angrier I become. Have a good evening and many blessings throughout your Thanksgiving holiday.... -S

Any more artwork in the future Karen? Can't wait!

This is wonderful - I love the whole thing - you should really publish a calendar.

Let's not get hung up on grammar, gals! This is a place to let it all hang out (not that i haven't noticed that BMs and SKids who find this site lose their writing composure when they see how we really feel!). Tee hee. - Karen (OM artist)

In Reply to:******* I'M SORRY TO BUST A BUBBLE BUT A STEP MOM IS NOT THE OTHER MOTHER SHE IS A STEP MOM. IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD TO BELIEVE THAT THEN SO BE IT BUT YOU KNOW YOUR REALLY JUST THE STEP PARENT.*********** I hate to burst your bubble, but the English language does require commas. It also does not take kindly to fragmented sentences. And by the way, the conjunction for "you are" is you're. Secondly, stepmom's wouldn't even have to try to be the "other mother" if the job was being done well by the BM.

*****First in reply to -S, ********** Is it "this pictures" or "these" pictures. I think you need MAJOR grammar help- (You must be a BM?) Secondly, as far as the artwork it is the most talented, witty and dead accurate depiction of step family life I've ever seen. I tip my hat to you, as a fellow graphic artist and a stepmom! Keep up the awesome work!

I haven't seen my SO's son in about 6 months due to back and forth court issues. Mind you, they were divorced in the summer of 2002, and separated for about three years prior to their divorce. How long does it take for things to settle down between divorced individuals?

I haven't seen my SO's son in about 6 months due to back and forth court issues. Mind you, they were divorced in the summer of 2002, and divorced for about three years prior to their divorce. How long does it take for things to settle down between divorced individuals?

Loved this site. Made me laugh out loud!!! Thanks for making me feel not alone! Steph in OK.

Wonderful work -- you captured the feelings and frustration we, as stepmothers, are subject to daily in a constructive, thought-provoking manner. Thank you for your work!

Okay, okay. Here's what kills the he** out of me! First, she gets pregnant because she can't responsibly use birth control. He's too stupid to see that he should protect himself from and unwanted pregnancy, but doesn't. So, a child is conceived. They marry, hating each other, but thinking that it is the right thing to do. Then, two years later, he won't grow up and she won't shut up. Sounds good to the court for grounds for divorce. So, it's granted. They kid, now 3 years old, is shuffled from house to house because she can't stay in one place. The father moves in with me and I stupidly let him, not realizing at the time what an effect this disaster of their lives was about to blow mine apart. He doesn't want to leave. He's finally with a grown, responsible woman and is comfortable. She still won't shut up. So the battle rages. In the end, the final decree represents the white flag at the end of a fierce battle. The only one with any sense left is - guess who??? That mean, hateful, old, bi*ch referred to as the "other woman". After their victory is settle, you realize your battle is only beginning and will be much harder and longer drawn than theirs ever was. Don't try to hard at this point because you're dam*ed if you do and your surely dam*ed if you don't. You are the bi*ch and you always will be. They, those same two irresponsbile idiots that created that child in a drunken state of lust want to sit back and see how you interact with "their child". The whole time making comments about their unsurity of your ability to "handle" the child. During their course of observance, not realizing, that they are making an even bigger idiot than the both of them - the child! This is the same two people that couldn't tell you a thing in the world about birth control but became instant know-alls about parenting in that delivery room. That little bundle of joy they delivered is someone else's bundle of hell!!! Carry on with the good workings of this site. Crazy, uncaring, bitter, bi*ches like us need this place to vent a little bit up 'babybottled-up' anger. I think that they should be locked up in a round room together with "their child" and made to live together until that child is 18. What the he*l are women that are so decent and so caring as us doing putting ourselves in such a tortuous situation?

I have been a stepmother for 10 years to three children since they were very young. I have been through the heartache of the courts (for 8 years), tug-of-war with the kids/holidays/emotions, etc. I have financially and emotionally supported my husband and his kids (none of my own) all these years. THEY are now a very happy group indeed. We even get along quite well with the biomom these days. (Although some of your artwork expresses her early behavior PERFECTLY) Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! These three sweet, small children have grown to become selfish, self-centered, lazy beasts who are accustomed to getting everything they want, when they want it without having to do anything for it. Housework or chores? Forget it!!! Both mommy and daddy are so busy being their best friends that the only person who expects them to contribute to household or family responsibilities is me. I am so sick of the deer in the headlights look when I ask them to do anything, that I quit asking. In essence, this makes me a slave to the house and the family. The only thing my husband and I fight about are the kids. My only consolation is that in 5 years, they will all have reached the age of 18 and maybe, just maybe, I will actually enjoy spending time in my own house again. I love my husband, but I am so tired of wishing my life away.

Thanks for this site!! I'm a stepmom myself and found this sooooo enlightning (and amusing). Irony - laugh with a tear. I've been in this game now for 8 years - will I do this again? NEVER!!!!! NEVER!!!!NEVER!!!! Stepkids are real demons in disguise and so is the biological mom. And the Dad's ego and guiltcomplex keep him from acting and owning up. Thanks again.....

Boy Oh Boy! I am a soon to be step-mom and I have the same feelings as alot of posts on here. I grew up in a blended family as well..and it was pure Hell! My step-father didnt like me, I didnt like him. And my mother was in the middle (unfortunately) Anyways, my fiance has 3 children ages from 13, 9, 8. I have 1 daughter 13. And there are problems..problems..problems. Between all of us. The 2 13years old (boy and girl) do not get along. My fiance's kids..have horrible eating habits (which drives me nuts) They are Mcdonalds and fries kids, and hotdogs and chips. I have taught my daughter to eat healthy, fruits, veggies, and have exposed to her to all kinds..I just ask she tries it. If you ask my fiance's kids they cry and fuss. I use to make them a seperate dinner...I have quit! They dont eat what I fix..then they dont eat! Or their dad can fix them something. When my fiance and I moved in together and his children would come on weekends they would want to sleep together...let me remind you a 13yr old boy sleeping with his 2 sisters. It was mainly the youngest girl and boy who wanted this. I immediatley put a end to it. I saw things between the 2 of them that to me was not brother sister normal behavior. Imagine a 13 yr old boy that wants to sleep with 8 yr old sister that is a bedwetter! The older sister didnt even want to! Also, quite often when all the kids were here on the weekends, the older boy and youngest girl would end up together. Odd to me that she didnt want to play with the other to girls. After other instances, such as boy giving sister baths, inviting her to bathroom with him etc..I was at my witts end. My fiance did respect my wishes about the kids not sleeping together and made the mom aware of it. Also, talked with his children about it (carefully) although it just didnt get thru I dont think. The son just cant understand why and thinks it is dumb!!! Also..I noticed several things with the youngest girl that was odd to me. She was a bedwetter, she was very clingy to older brother, she constantly pulls at herself in her private area. For example: One day, we were out and about with the children and she was constantly putting her hands in her private area and repeatdly smell, licking, and rubbing her hands in her eyes!! I was shocked and found this to be very disturbing. Pointed it out to my fiance which he confronted her and she said she didnt realize she was doing it. Ok..so I continue to watch her over the weeks, months and she still does it. I demanded he get her to a doctor. BTW...she has had several yeast infections! Since he does not have custody, he had to go thru the mother. SHe dragged her feet for months. And of course she thinks that it is nothing to be concerned about. Everyone has little oddities she says. The little girl was checked by doctor and he says that there is no signs of sexual abuse! My verdict is still out on that. Because you dont have to have penatration for sexual abuse. Finally after we were able to talk to the doctor ourselves and filling him in on the youngest rituals, he has said possible OCD and suggested a to see a phyciatrist. No appointment as of yet, and it has been months since that possible diagnosis. Also, the 2 teens go to rival schools, so there has been noise between friends. The boy has told other boys my daughter is a slut. Nice huh?! Anyways, I forgot to mention that since these problems the boy no longer comes on weekends. Just the girls. My advice? Blended families are tough! And there is always problems. My suggestion..think really hard before you make that commitment. I truly believe that you when you marry, that you marry the kids too. And when you start to run into the problems it gets even tougher! Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY NOT! And we may never get married truthfully! I am really sick and tired of the crap and it has only been a short time!

I have been a step-mother for 5 years now & have done everything right but i guess all that RIGHT i was doing sparked jealously from the ex-wife that i never tried to do because i was just being me. Now for the past 4 years my husbands son for some odd reason hates his father because of the negativity of his mother because since their break-up i guess she felt my husband was suppose to do nothing but go down hill & not suceed in anything, but bad wishing reversed back to her because my husband has came up way past her expectations with me & she has failed in every which way you can think of, she has been divorced again, filed bankruptcy, evicted from several houses, became a grandmother at the age of 34 by her oldest teenage son (not by my husband), & now her son by my husband liked to spend more time with us than her so she was like a mutt pushed into a corner by a pit bull, so she did the one thing that she knew would hurt my husband which was turn his son against him because she is jealous of our good life, she makes her son think that her down falls are the faults of my husband & that i am the cause of his father's faults as well, so every few months it's a new problem that we had no knowledge of but we were supposingly at fault. Despite all of this headache we still take care of his son's needs as needed & pay child support & we will always be there if he decides to call, my husband talks to him every once in a while to let him know he still has a father but he is a teenager now & that is a whole set of emotions in its self & he also doesn't want to go against his mother but hopefully if its not too late he will realize how his mother was & his father wasn't.

Oh my goodness.....this is all I experience and feel together in this wonderful art. I am not alone!!!

What an amazing gift you have given us step-mothers. I could completely relate to many of the pictures. Thank you for making a safe place for us to go! c

great website. as a stepmom i want to say "Thank You". good luck to us all.....

I liked the art work very much. I do however notice the father is absent, like an innocent bystander. In my case, I believe he allows the situation to continue because his children are an extension of his own ego, enabling him to take up nearly all the "room" in the house. So glad not to be alone, I don't know anyone in real life who is a stepmother with no kids of their own there.

I want to thank you for sharing this artwork. I didn't know what I was in for four years ago this July. I didn't know other women had thoughts that I had. Some of those pieces made me cry, they seemed so familiar. But I almost feel like I'm looking at something taboo like pornography because we are of course supposed to be all patient and all good and when we set limits, even if they are the same limits we set for our own biological kids, we are the wicked stepmother. I'm sorry, I could go on all day. Once again, thank you.

I can relate how stepmother/stepchild relationships can pose its own challenges. Especially, when you are dealing with the biomoms insecurities, and post-divorce behavior . Everyone's role has changed. The biomom kidnapped by SO's son. Thank God the last time we were together, I did spend some quality time with him. We even hugged for the first time. We were able to locate him at his school. But we don't know if he will be attending this school next year or not since his dad know where the school is.

I am a 15-year old stepchild and I definately know how hard it is for a stepmother, as well as the child. I used to hate my stepmother, we never spoke. I was mad at her for taking my dad away, I felt as if she had stole him. After three years of bitterness I finally broke down and prayed to GOd that He would give me the courage to go up to my step mother and resolve our broken relationship. Since that night our relationship could not be better. I think one tip to all stepmothers would be don't even have the faintest try to be a mother- just be a friend.

I haven't felt this type of validation in a long time! Bravo for expressing how we feel in an honest, "real" way! I think I might turn the "resentful bitch" into wallpaper...:) I found you by accident...but then I'm not sure I really believe in accidents.

I am so glad I found this site! Here it is, midnight, and I'm up driving myself crazy while looking through my husband's legal paperwork so he can prove that there was a court order written 2 years ago that states we do not have to pay added expenses for anything not agreed to in writing. WHY AM I DOING THIS? Why isn't he? Why didn't he do it months ago? Then, sunk into this, I get the idea to google 'stepmother'. You brightened up everything- just knowing I'm not alone, and that I may be crazy, but SHE'S crazier! And, I get to be married to a man I love. Would I do it again, if I knew how hard it is? I'll never know.

Obviously the woman who created this pictures has a very low self-esteem and is threatened by the BM in her family. She needs MAJOR counseling! -S

Having moved a great distance (into "her" area) to move in with my now-husband (then fiance), his ex greeted me with a welcoming present not long after my arrival......a break-in into our home, attacking both myself and her ex-husband. Her poor judgement ended up with her arrest, and charges for Tresspasing and Domestic Violence. In retrospect, I'm annoyed at myself for not insisting that I got to go to court too on the day she of her hearing. I was just as victimized as everyone, but we didn't want to "further upset her" by having me in the courtroom. Whew, having said all that, looking at this WONDERFUL site finally helped me see some humor in this, and the sense that I'm not alone. I just hope that someday, my two stepsons will really know the truth about that terribile night - and not believe that it was something provoked by their father or me. I know I'll revisist your site many times for a well-needed reality check. Thank you!

How wonderful to see a site for people like myself. People don't realize the struggles the step-mom goes through. Many times our feelings are overlooked. Its nice to have some support!

As a fine artist and stepmother, I embrace your disturbing body of work enthusiastically. I'm amazed at how deeply I can relate to the exhibition. I thought I was alone.

thank you so much for this site it great!! it hell being the other mother.

Oh My God! finally I have found a place that credit step-mothers. We are not credited as much as we deserve to be. We feel lonely, depressed., angry, fustrated, un appreciated, sad etc. I have two step-daughters 12 and 14yrs old that live with us. I have no children of my own. I have totally stopped all involvements with them because according to them they hate we I ask them to do somethig.. and the other one says you are not my mother. Hello I know I am not the bio-mom but the bio-mom walked out on them when they were 4 years old. Of course the mother calls them, but she is a total nightmare to deal with. If I had to do it all over again I would not do it. Sign Sad step-mom

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for expressing what I have been feeling inside for 10 years. I know now that I am not "crazy" since so many other stepmoms have gone through the same sh**! Had I known what I was getting into I never would have married a divorced man with children. I tell every woman who is thinking of doing what I did to RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN FOR YOUR OWN SAKE AND SANITY!!!!!!Many have HEEDED MY WARNING and I am RELIEVED.

Oh, Dear God, did I NEED this site! Thank you for showing me I am not as damned alone as I feel!

Hey girl.. i love your website.. i am a BM and an SM and the information you have on here is awesome. Thank you for showing us this site. BlueEyedAngel

Thanks so much for the lift.....

I really do not know what this web site is about but wanted to go or look inot something that I could familiarize myself with being a "stepmother". It really has been hell with the ex-wife but pretty much an adventure with the two now 9 and 10 year old stepsons. I do not or ever intend to or want to act like their mother. I have a seventeen year old of my own and have been married to these boys' father for almost 8 years. Their mother has given me nothing but hell. Don't really know what to do as of yet. Eight years and still wondering?????

I wrote in earlier but I have one more thing to say. The comment listed below that they are sorry to burst our bubble about we are not the parent but just a step parent is exactly that--a step parent*** which is soooo much harder to be than a biological parent. These children have to accept you even when the other parent is always trying to get them not to, because you ARE the stepmother (always depicted as evil). We are the ones that have to go the extra mile to make sure they approve and accept us. So therefore, your comment is BS!!!

I can tell you right now, I don't want to be friends or friendly with my husband's ex wife. We tried this and the more I know about her, the more I can't stand the site of her. She tears down their father, buys booze and cigs for a 14 yr old, manipulates a young 10 yr old girl, and they worship the ground she walks on. Yep, call me jealous, but I have spent a lot of time in a stepparent website and I would rather spend my money in real therapy when I need it. I have come to the realization that there are days I will be happy, and there are days (like today) that I will be depressed about raising another woman's children, regardless of how worthy she is to BE their mother. I don't have children of my own, and yes, it makes me angry. So this site does a lot more for days like this, knowing that I'm understood and not poo poo'd by some psycho-analytical b.s. that I should try to understand her point of view. Her kids chose to live with us, it's not my fault I don't make them live in cat pee and fleas. UGHHH!!!

I love this site. I keep checking back to it because it's exactly how some ex wives make you feel.

This exhibit is great! I am not alone, and it would seem that there are ex-wives out there that are even more evil than the one I've had to deal with. Carry on stepmoms!

As a stepmother I feel as though I am constantly being observed and critiqued, I find it hard to just be me. I feel my life invaded by a past I did not choose. My daughter's biological mother is a heroin addict in a highly abusive relationship. She has signed over custody and rarely bothers with contact, I often feel like a kidnapper even though the child wanted to live with us and her situation was unhealthy. My daughter calls me mom she calls her bio mom by her first name, a decision she made on her own. When I gave birth to her little brother she told me that she wished she had come out of my belly, I cried. How do you encourage a child to know a mother who cannot see past the end of her own nose? How do I stop my daughter from one day hating me? What if all this the heartache is for nothing, only to be thrown in my face through some distant reunion and twisted lie? I can only hope she knows me well enough. Being a step parent is not easy, and to say I'm just a step parent is wrong. When my daughter wakes up in the morning, I cook her breakfast, I take her to school, I wipe her tears and I will always be here. What's a Bio Mom? A Disney Land parent who drops in with presents when her concience gets the better of her. Giving birth does not make you a mother, dedication does. Keep up the labour of love! Thank you.

Thanks-I feel guilty for feeling how I do sometimes...you just saved me hours of therapy

Great site.

Thank God for this art. I'm a working artist and art teacher myself and this is just what I needed today. Stepmothers are such a blown off segment of our society, no kudos, yet we provide insurance for our stepchildren, all the necessities and still get asked for more by their demanding mothers! Thanks so much for this art, it truly hits the bullseye! Kris

this is great stuff!!!! finally the feelings and thoughts of stepmothers have been captured in a tasteful no holds barred manner.i will surely pass this site onto everyone i know that has traveled down the long, hard, emotional, outsider road ...thanks!!!!!it was a visual pleasure.

For any woman who has dared to love a man with children, this site will set you free. I could never have known what I was getting into. The hardest thing is let yourself fall in love with these children, for you, wicked stepmother, will be the one to suffer the wrath of bio mom, stepkids and bio dad if the mood sees fit. Draw strength, other mother, (yes, O ignorant fools, we are other mothers, bonus moms, and we will not be denied!) for the battle is long, but to the victor go the spoils! In the end, their love is worth it!

your stepparent allegence is a good one. i have been raising my husband's three sons for the past 11 years, two have graduated from high school (shocking), all still living at home. someday, i hope to experience empty-nest syndrome, but with my luck, i will be too bitter to enjoy it. i have faith that life will get better as the children get older, or at least that they marry someone with children and that their headaches and heartaches will be visited upon them. life is not short. on the contrary, life is a long, long time. some days are endless. good luck with your exhibit.

I looked at this site for the third time. I laughed. I am known as the step bit--. My significant other pushes his son to be disrespectful by rushing me to make dinner, and by teaching him how to be overly demanding and thankless already. Like father like son. I don't know how much longer I am willing to put up with this bullshit.

After looking at your art and commentary, I think I am able to get rid of my anti-depressants for good!! Thank you!

I'M SORRY TO BUST A BUBBLE BUT A STEP MOM IS NOT THE OTHER MOTHER SHE IS A STEP MOM. IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD TO BELIEVE THAT THEN SO BE IT BUT YOU KNOW YOUR REALLY JUST THE STEP PARENT.

You really touched my soul with this exhibit. It is so helpful to know that I am not alone in this situation and that so many women go through the same feelings. It can be so overwhelming at times and your art really helps me see that. Thank you.

Your prints are great! I don't think I can hang them um in my home, though! ;-) Maybe you could make bumper stickers, though -- that way the exes will see it as we drive away with their kids! :-)

I am a stepmom with a pretty good situation: we have joint custody of my husband's son. Biological mom is only slightly excessively enabling and really only slightly certifiably insane. The exhibit depicts the things that I have had fears of from glimpses of what 'could' happen. Some of the pieces took my breath away. I do not have any family or friends who are stepparents so when I have these fears, I have no one to talk to...is there a recommended site for chat/articles, etc.?

I am contemplating becoming a step-mother and a second wife. I am really having difficulty with the power the ex-wife will have over my future husband. Can anybody help me with these feelings? I've never dealt with this before. I am a 44-year old widow.

I LOVED your site. I am a masters level social worker who specializes in stepfamily therapy AND a stepparent. Thanks so much for your brilliant work ( not to mention your courage :)

My step child has been a joy. She actually calls me her"otha motha" although I am no longer married to her father. Recently her and I spent a week together getting to know each other without other adults (her mother and father) around. We share a bond that can never be broken by distance or non-relation. The wicked stepmother is a reality but only if she does not first love herself and sees the step child as a threat to her self-image. There was a time when I felt threatened by my step child but I am so over that. I have grown, she has grown, and her mother has grown. As for her father...we are divorced. I am still in my step-child's life and her mother and I are friends. If women want bitterness and bitching, they can find it anywhere and create it in any relationship. They can just as easily create love. Remember it always takes 2 to tango. Love

My step child has been a joy. She actually calls me her"otha motha" although I am no longer married to her father. Recently her and I spent a week together getting to know each other without other adults (her mother and father) around. We share a bond that can never be broken by distance or non-relation. The wicked stepmother is a reality but only if she does not first love herself and sees the step child as a threat to her self-image. There was a time when I felt threatened by my step child but I am so over that. I have grown, she has grown, and her mother has grown. As for her father...we are divorced. I am still my step-child's life and her mother and I are friends. If women want bitterness and bitching, they can find it anywhere and create it in any relationship. They can just as easily create love. Remember it always takes 2 to tango. Love

Loved it! But don't forget MY favorites: "The certified letter from the Clerk of Courts", the "Subpoena" and the "Return to Sender" (On cards sent to kids for any occassion) And howz about something with a telephone in it with a wild woman screaming, "You'll NEVER see these kids again you F%$#^%*& B*&^%$#&!!!!! Or, another suggestion, A poor second-family on welfare, while the bm lives high on the hog? Or what about one with a judge and an atty licking their chops like wolves with the caption borrowed from the late Freddie Mercury: "Another one bites the dust!" whattya think? Does it have potential? :0)

I love the graphics! It is a way to express feelings that we "other mothers" are not allowed to express to anyone other than our spouse. Everyone needs a release......original mothers often move their own bitter feelings to the "new wife" and try very hard to undermine and sabotoge every aspect of the new relationship. Nevermind that she has remarried herself. For some reason the husband always has to pay and pay and pay.....

Wow! So glad to have stumbled upon your wonderful site....brilliant graphics and such insight into a much ignored dilemma. EXCELLENT !!!!

Quoting the greatest song of all time: "Hit the road, Jack."

You guys deserve a gold medal. Luckily for me I am not married to the father of two kids by two different women. I realize what a thankless job this really is. I've decided over the weekend that I have decided to cut the ties emotionally with these people and develop a lifestyle without the petty annoyances, and the court issues. I have given so much support emotionally, and spiritually to this man, but I know believe that this is only making him a more selfish and mean individual. For mother's day I got nothing. He even asked for the grocery money back. So I'm stuck with having to buy groceries for myself. I have loaned him my car to get back and forth to work, paid the bills, and loaned him my car to even visit his son. But the day we were suppose to go to an amusement park, he decides to invite his brother, who has hands like an octopus, so at the last minute there is a change in plans, and I didn't get a chance to see my daughter, but the minute he gets back he expects me to drop everything I am doing to spend time with him. Not even a rose. Should I even consider staying?

They forgot to include me in Mother's Day. They really did... Wow. I raise my step-kid while her mother has elected to spend 7, count 'em, 7 whole hours a week TOPS with her daughter. I do the homework, the cooking, the re-assuring that she is not fat, the late night runs to Home Depot for carpenters glue, the loving, the hugging, the putting up with adolescent crappola, etc... Neither my husband nor she said Hapy Mothers Day this morning when I got up at 8:00 a.m. to make breakfast (something they should have done for me) and help my stepdaughter make a stupid pyramid for school. I'm peeved at my husband, not my stepdaughter who is, after all, a kid and kids wold loose their eyeballs if they weren't so firmly planted in their little skulls! Now my husband is taking the kid to see her mom, gift in hand. Did anyone say a thing to me this morning? No. Did my husband forget to tell her that they are taking me out to dinner tonight? Yup. Did he forget to make reservations? You bettcha. So... what to do? Well, I am getting my shoes on and taking MYSELF out to a restaurant I have always wanted to go to (rumor has it that their tappas selection is unbeatable and God knows I will NEVER turn down a good meal). Then I am going to take myself to the local art museum to check out a cool movie exhibit that just went up. What is it with men anyway?!?!

I am feeling very sorry for myself today and as much as I was intending to royally mope around with a case of (Other)Mothers Day Blues, this exhibit made me laugh. You're bringing me out of my funk! Stop it! The rage and surrender behind your work makes me uncomfortable, yet at the same time I find it funny in a sort of raw way. You are quite an artist. The way your work brings up the contradictions and emotional battles within myself is very powerful.

Thanks Karen for putting so many of the frustrations step mothers face into your artwork. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship, but it seems like the number one thing we argue about is his step son. It is just nice to know others have faced similar situations and I am not alone in my frustrations.

Me here again, I visit this web-site periodically now, and come to think of it, I am not as resentful and angry about the situation I have been dealing with regarding my boyfriend, and his ex. It has been a real challenge. Thanks again for letting me vent.

I loved it. It made me chuckle. I am not married to the father of two children. After what I have experienced from the mother of one of his children indirectly. There has been constant litigation going on between the two of these people that started even before the marriage broke up, and has continued until this day. I have been married twice, but can still remain on civil terms with both ex's. But for the likes of me, I do not understand this union, and all this negative energy that accompanies this divorce. Thanks anyway for this exhibit. It really hits home.

Loved it. It gave me a boost and some insight when I desperately needed it.

I love this site and keep it bookmarked for those moments when I need to be cheered up. It's so reassuring to see images that so poignantly reflect what is otherwise a very isolating experience. I've just for the first time been scrolling through the comments and while it's great to see from the responses that I'm not alone out there, it makes me sad that there are bitchy comments in there from "first" wives. I don't stand up in the middle of Disney films (most of which seem to have evil stepmothers in them) and scream out "this is bitter first wife propaganda," so maybe you could refrain from "sloppy seconds" digs on one of the few sites that really reflects the experience of a whole range of women. The whole rest of society priviledges the experience of the "first" wife, so maybe you could just let us have this one little corner of cyber-space?

I love this site and keep it bookmarked for those moments when I need to be cheered up. It's so reassuring to see images that so poignantly reflect what is otherwise a very isolating experience. I've just for the first time been scrolling through the comments and while it's great to see from the responses that I'm not alone out there, it makes me sad that there are bitchy comments in there from "first" wives. I don't stand up in the middle of Disney films (most of which seem to have evil stepmothers in them) and scream out "this is bitter first wife propaganda," so maybe you could refrain from "sloppy seconds" digs on one of the few sites that really reflects the experience of a whole range of women. The whole rest of society priviledges the experience of the "first" wife, so maybe you could just let us have this one little corner of cyber-space?

wow, this website was given to me by a friend, another stepmother and I thoroughly enjoyed the gallery...read most of them to my husband, didn't seem to get much response....mmmmm, wonder why? Keep it up!! Three cheers for stepmothers!!

i am a 25 year old stepmother. i have been married to my husband for almost 4 years. my stepdaughter is nine years old and i have known her since she was 3. i lover her very much and i try my best to do ther best i can for her and let her know that i will do anything to help her lead a normal and happy life. the problem is her biological mother. she has harrasses me since the day she found out that i was going out with her child's father. the thing is, they were never married. the child was born when both of them were very young. and the biological mother already had been married and had another child by the time my husband and i started dating. as soon as she found out that we were together, she began following me everywhere iwent and we even had to go to court because she tried to run me off the road one night when she followed me from work. she always seems to get away with crap like this. my husband and i went to court to try to get custody of his child and even though we had witnesses that proved that she was morally unfit and that her current husband had been arrested for drugs 3 times, she still got to keep full custody of the child. my sweet stepdaughter wants so much to live with her dad and me, but the court did not allow her testimony to be heard because she was only 8 at the time of the hearing. now, she is stuck down the street with her mother's family (her uncle keeps her most of the time, because her mother is never home). and she and her little brother have both run away from down there to over here. her borther is 6 years old, and loves us, even though he is not our child. when he ran away from home and came here, he said that no one was at his house to watch him and he knew that his sister was over here and that there would be someone here to take care of him. i wanted to cry!!! why do the bad people always seem to win and get away with everything that is immoral? all i want is for my stepchild to be happy. the biological mother won't even allow me to come onto her property with my husband to get the child for visitation and yet she thinks she can come over to our home anytine whe wants. also, she never answers the tlelphone when we call to talk to the child, and if it is our weekend for visitation with her and she calls and we do not answer the phone for whatever reason, she leaves threatening and vulgar messages on the answering machine!!!! i don't know how much more of this injustice and abuse that i can take!!!!!!!!!!is there any legal action my husband and i can take to have these things stopped?

This artistic exhibit came at the right time for me!!! I have been struggling with an evil ex-wife. I have a wonderful husband, 3 great step-children and a beautiful baby with my husband...yet, at times, the greed and entitlement issues of his ex can be overwhelming. So, thank you for making me laugh...

I just had a really bad 'step mom' day. I stay home full time to raise her two and my two. I have a wonderful husband, but sometimes her garbage is too much to take. We have her two 80% of the time. And she is at me at every turn. I love the kids, but somethimes it is sooooo hard. Thanks so much for this art work. I needed this!

Ms. Piovaty's work is remarkable and I was amazed to see my anger and frustration as a stepmother reflected in her art. It is hard enough to battle the negative dynamics of a stepfamily (kids, ex's, etc.), but it seems a virtually impossibility when confronted with society's view of us as "stepmonsters" and inherently evil. If I could get one message across to the world it would be "don't assume that because I am not the biological mom I don't have the kids best interests at heart, and don't assume that because she is the biological mom, she does." Thank you so much!

Great work. And all very true to life. I am sure you would all agree, but.... Just remember, the child's life is much bigger than your's.

The artwork is first rate, totally cool and as so many others have posted, painfully on the mark! The first wife, in my case, left my husband for another woman, however treats me like the interfering "other" woman even though I didn't meet him until they were separated and living in two different states. She not only tries, to my infinite frustration, to control her children while they are in our care, but attempts to define how I should raise my own daughter. The "resentful bitch" that I feel like I must become in order to raise a point here and there engenders "irritable bowel syndrome" in my gut and tears at the seams of my fantastic, incredible passion for the man who truly gives meaning to the old song "love is truly lovely the second time around". Thanks so much for giving me a place to turn to when the going gets tough! "Stepped-on-Mom in Jersey"

I got chills as I walked through the exhibit. I felt as though I could have written the captions myself. Though it is a sad situation, it is all very true. I am able to begin this new year knowing that others feel the same way I do and I am not alone in my thoughts and feelings. Karen, thank you so very much for the guts to tell it like it is.

I really enjoyed going and seeing the exhibit up close. As a relatively new member of the "She-Woman Stepmothers' Club", (3 years officially, and 4 years as a pledge) it really helped me see that my own feelings about the whole ordeal are not unique. My favorites are the Holiday Greetings and the Trophy. They speak volumes to me! Thank you so much for your contribution.

How wonderful! Just what I needed after the holidays!

Where is the show going to be in San Diego?

Whoa, talk about bitter. Huh.

Fabulous site!

This was wonderful, thought-provoking and so true. She is a truly gifted artist and as they say a picture is worth a thousand words.

It seems that the words sad and true occur to most people commenting on the gallery. Take heart in knowing that it has inspired me to be more understanding of my new wife's "less than savory" situation. Thank you, John

Wow. Thank you. NMD

I loved them, I laughed, I cried! Great Tshirt art! Hope one day I can wear them! Wish my husband saw the humor and sad truth that I see in them. Second wife, never "mom"

thanks so much for accurately summing up how many of us feel too much of the time. hopefully, one day things will change. we definitely deserve a trophy!!

Fantastic, thanks Karen for your bravery and honesty to "tell it like it is".

The art was wonderful and very powerful! Thanks for sharing with us!

I thought the first one was the best! That's EXACTLY how I feel! I'll never look at the statue of liberty the same! :)

Bravo!

Tears fall from my eyes as I type this... Such outstanding work here, "Happy Holidays" and all the rest. For all stepmother's out there I give you the biggest (((Hugs))). I have had two stepmothers and three stepfathers, as an adult I have made it my duty to let them know they were and are appreciated... and here I am now, soon to become a stepmom myself. I have seen the pain from both sides. Love to all of you... you are the bravest, strongest and most deserving!

I loved it! My favorites were the Brady Bunch and the Warning..Your holidays...Absolutely true! My stepchildren are older (19 through 30) and I am trying to come to grips with the fact that I will always be their "father's wife" rather than their stepmother...Sometimes it hurts but sometimes I am SO RELIEVED...

THAT COMMENT ABOUT "BITTER GOOFS" IS TYPICAL OF THE CRUELTY PEOPLE CAN INFLICT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. ONE LESSON I'VE LEARNED FROM BEING A STEPMOTHER IS NEVER TO JUDGE SOMEONE UNTIL YOU'VE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND THEIR SITUATION.

I loveit, I love it, I love it!! Every one told my story! Beautiful work Karen!!!!!

Parental Confidantes REALLY affected me. As a matter of fact, I'm taking it with me for the official start of "our," marriage counciling this week. I'm sooooo glad that I'm not crazy feeling this way. signed: No trophy wife, cuz I'm 8 years older.

"She will always be mummy, I will always be mum.", sums it all up for me. Fabulous!!

Wow. What an excellent exhibit and extremely eloquent.

To be honest... I don't know what else I could say. The artist hasalready summed up most of my emotions! What an explicit collection! 

High Fives to Karen Piovaty!

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You've said it all for me. I didn't think anyone could possibly understand the B.S. i've been through. Thanks.

I am interested in finding out if you have your art in prints that can be ordered other than the mini posters.

a stepmother can never replace your real mother and is not a "fill-in" but is your dads new girlfriend,feonsay,or wife.you dont have to think of them as your "mother" but as your dads friend she is not an important aspect in your life but a new person who will be around for a preety ling time or just for a couple of months,years, or days. you dont have to callthem mom, you can just call them by their real names.

Every one of your pieces is right on target. The recognition I feel is wonderful and affirming. I'm over the cultural myth that I am flawed if I don't "love them as if they were my own." They're not, and I don't, and I'm so relieved that someone else is admitting to feeling the same way sometimes.

I feel comforted to know I am not the only one who feels this way and that i'm not crazy. Yes it may seem cynical but it's all TRUE. Thank you for sharing!

ROFLMAO, gallery tour is so wonderful, capturing the truths, dilemmas and hopes of a blended family with such artistry. I have 4 kids ages 12, 15, 25, 28. Husband has 2 kids ages 8 and 14. We deal with 3 exes. Wonderful exgirlfriend who's 8 yo daughter is the only one not wounded - she's always felt loved by everyone. Exwifefromhell who thinks life is only about vengeance and control. And my ex, who toys with vengeance and control and teaches his kids that they can love a difficult parent. Thank you so much for a healing entertainment and catharsis.

The words & images take my breath away,,,, Very powerful & poignant work !!!! Please let the public awareness rise due to the fearless efforts of the men & women that truly care for the children of divorce,,,,, Thankyou Karen!!!!

"I will not be resentful, bitch." This is the perfect illustration of my current struggle. Incredible work!

Wow. What truth to this art. I am a soon-to-be stepmom to two wonderful girls, but still feeling a little scared of becoming "second best" to their real mom. The kids don't fully understand yet how terrible she is, and how their dad and I fight to give them a loving, stable family. Someone else commented here that the high road is always the best path, and though it is hard, "I will not be a resentful bitch!"

"I will not be a resentful bitch" was my favorite but it's so hard to do sometimes. But that one should be applied to both "mom" and "other mom". Great artwork! =)

Thanks for the artwork, but not all of this is always true. I had a ruff time at first but things have gotten better, not 100%, but I feel more comfortable with teenage stepchildren. What works is becoming a prayer warrior. IT WORKS

These are great~ It is nice to know that there are others with the same issues I have, and I feel not so isolated. Cheers to you girl!!

After just finishing the tour and reading all the comments, my heart aches. It aches for the man I've loved for 17 years (we're high-school sweethearts reunited after 12 yrs. apart - can you say, "soulmates'??), it aches for my soon-to-be stepdaughter that I adore, and it aches, selfishly, for me and what my future holds. There's no turning back for me. I have no doubt in my mind he and I were meant to be together and I'm not letting him go again! I'm just terrified of what is to come. I'm just so thankful I've stumbled upon this amazing website! Kudos to Karen and to all the steps out there! My step-dad of 29 years is the best "real" dad any "kid" could've wished for!

I'm the first wife of 16 years & the stepmother is the other woman. I came to this sight hoping to gain some insight into second's thinking. What a shock. I've never seen so much hatred & self serving rhetoric in my life. You all deserve each other.

I am going to come back and probably buy....I have a 16 year old stepson, a 9 year old of my own and a new 8 month old...my step moved out after he wrecked my car, I did everything for that kid and as soon as I took his keys he blew.

I LOVED IT. WE HAVE CUSTODY OF MY 14 YEAR OLD STEP-SON WHO DOES NOT CALL ME MOM ( NOR DO I THINK HE SHOULD)BUT INTRODUCES US AS HIS PARENTS. WE HAVE HAD CUSTODY FOR 7 YEARS AND HE SEES WITH HIS OWN EYES THE REALITY OF OUR SITUATION. THE HIGH-ROAD ALWAYS PAYS OFF. IT'S HARD, BUT KEEP YOUR CHIN UP AND ALWYAS CHOOSE THE HIGH-ROAD FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. ALWAYS LET THEM TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION TO THEIR COMFORT LEVEL, DON'T BE INTRUSIVE. PS I ADORE MY STEP-SON!!!

How fun! I loved them all. A life as a stepmom is so sad, that it's really starting to be funny. You have to laugh and cry and believe in yourself--you didn't do anything wrong; just fell in love with a really nice guy--who would have thought????

fun and good

Amazingly witty and remarkably poignant. The artwork was outstanding and the satire of a horribly frustrating situation even better.

Somebody (who is lucky enough to have custody of the kids in question) Said the kids are innocent. well maybe hers are, and even nice to her, but mine are ROTTEN!! They lie to us, tell lies to their teachers about my husband and me, and constantly take their mother's side. I wish they had never been born! I didn't know I was in for this hell when I married my husband!

I don't have a problem with the kids, because we have had custody now for 6 years. But te x had still not stopped trying to win him back. It took 5 out of the six for him to finally come around and realize that he doesn't have to be Mr.nice to her. And things have gotten much better now that he has stopped being xtra nice to her. She has actually back off our life and our relationship is stronger now than ever. So hang in there and try to remember the kids really are inocent in this adult world we put them in the middle of.

Does anybody have the courage to equally blast the wicked little liars (aka stepchildren) who do their darndest to make us miserable, 'cause that makes Precious Mommy soooo happy? A word to the wise: NEVER LOVE THEM. I learned the hard way. Your artwork just reminded me of how much I hate that bitch--and her children too, now.

i loved it!!!!!!!!!!!.....i have a husband that i think welcomes the x's rule over his life...if i could just get some help for him now

Reality hurts but the art is great! Keep up the good work. I'll be wearing the shirts with pride.

wow, the art is incredible..Its nice to remember that many many others understand what it is I am dealing with on a daily basis.

Gee, sounds like 'ol "sloppy seconds" is the bitter one, huh? Glad to know I'm not the only one..feels like you're all alone against her sometimes, y'know?... good luck ladies! My thoughts are with you all!

YOU ARE ALL COMPLETELY BITTER GOOFS ENJOY YOUR SLOPPY SECONDS

Awsome. How come I never thought to express these thougths....

Thank you. I wish I could get posters of each and every one of these and hang them in our "family room". Imagine how much sh*t I would get for doing that!?!!! I sure as hell wish somebody besides other step-moms understood what it feels like to be a step-mom. I noticed that someone called you "bitter" in their comments. And exactly how long has THAT person been a step-mom!!!

It is so nice to know none of us are in this battle alone. Thanks for reminding me of that because "I will not be a resentful bitch." :-)

I am on both sides of the fence here. I am both a step-mom and my bio-kids have a step-mom. I saw my husbands X in almost every one. I'm proud to say I didn't see myself. These are fabulous pieces of art. I LOL at many and hoped that my Skids will call me on Mother's day too. (Too small now.) My only disagreement is with the child support comment. Both parents would usually be giving financial support if they were still married. Why should that stop because of divorce. Not all of us are out for a free ride. Some of us just want to keep our kids out of Goodwill fashions and at least in Wal-Mart style.

Too bad I can't send them to her!!!

I am the other mother. You see in our house we have the "Goody Mom" (his ex) and we have me, the other mother, or as what my children like to refer to me as , "the evil step monster". After much soul searching, and alot of crying on my mothers shoulder, I have come to the conclusion that no matter what the one who is there when they are sick, the one that goes to the school functions, the one that attends the conferences, or pulls out nits from one of thier heads, the one that gets down in the mud to help the make pies, the one that teaches them how to ride a two wheeler, this is mom, and no matter what anyone says or does, when your step children get older I would take a good bet to say that a majority of them will agree.

I AM GOING TO BE A STEPMOTHER SHORTLY AND IT HAS BEEN HELL SO FAR BUT I AM GOING TO MAKE IT NO MATTER WHAT THE EX WIFE DOES TO ME. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT ANYONE COULD BE SO EVIL OR SO CARELESS OF THEIR OWN CHILDRENS FEELINGS. SHE DOES NOT CARE IF IT HURTS THE KIDS AS LONG AS IT HURTS ME. I AM LUCKY THOUGH BECAUSE MY HUSBAND TO BE IS WONDERFUL AND TAKES SUCH GOOD CARE OF THE KIDS. TO ANYONE GOING THROUGH THE SAME TROUBLE HANG IN THERE IT WILL GET BETTER IN TIME IT IS JUST THE WAITING THATS THE HARD PART.

I'M SO GLAD I FOUND THIS WEB SITE. AFTER 15 YEARS OF BEING A STEPBITCH I THINK THIS IS , NO I KNOW THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I FELT LIKE SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. IT DOSENT MATTER HOW HARD I'VE TRIED I JUST CANT WIN. IT WOULDNT BE SO BAD IF MY HUSBAND WOULD BACK ME UP. OH WELL HERE'S TO THE NEXT 15 YEARS.

Thank you for validating the fact that I'm not the only second wife/stepmother that has these challenges! I copied some and the next time I want to rip her head off for trying to control what goes on at MY house, I'll take out a picture and laugh instead. Keep up the good work, y'all!

The greatest! I especially like the "Trophy Wife" and "I will not be a resentful bitch". Great stuff!

So true, So true! I loved them!

I can relate, only in my situation it's not the bio mom that's the problem... it's my husband! I have become a slave in my own house and he tretas his 9yr old more like his partner than me. I love her but she runs our lives! The one on the decision making, unruly kids, all of them hit home! GREAT!

Hysterical!!

I can relate to all these!! I have never got a birthday card or xmas card from my SD in 11 years. It hurts, but your artwork made me feel better. Signed, Unappreciated Stepmother

I have TEARS in my eyes from laughing SO HARD! THANK YOU SO MUCH for that wonderful, wonderful rendition....the Bradys almost made me pee myself!

WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i made copies, so i can frame them to enjoy!!!!

Terrific Work. I felt so much better having viewed these images. I've read quite a bit on the subject over my 15 years as a Stepparent but this is truely the first time I've felt comforted and my thought legitimized. Very powerful.

i LOVED EVERYONE OF THEM! You hit it on the money honey!

I thought I was a horrible person for thinking some of those same things. I'm the soon to be step-mom of a spoiled rotten, mean 5-year old girl. Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it!

Great stuff! I printed out the "WARNING"! I think they should be handed out in every singles group. I am putting the TROPHY in my office! Thanks!! KD

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, ALL OF THEM. I thought I was the only one who thought those things!!! DNR

I Loved It!!! I feel much better, now!!! Yes8IzEnuf

Bullseye! again, and again, and again and......

Another comment! - Someone needs a private web site to send these anonimously!!!!! Any suggestions!!! Would love to talk with other step mothers!!!!

THE ART WAS GREAT! HOW DO I ORDER SOME OF THEM????? SUSIE

Incredible!!! Every felling I have felt was addressed in these works. As an artist I know that the best works come from personal experiences and it looks like you and I have shared alot of them. Wonderful!

The holiday one really hits home. I love my stepson and I hate the competition between his parents. He is 10. He works it to his advantage but also expresses to me how much it bothers him. He can do no wrong and comes first. Where does that leave me? Thank God that the two of us have a good relationship. He is a precious child.

FANTASTIC. . . They are perfect and very humorous.

unbelievable assessment of a truly contemporary part of culture. Sounds a bit bitter though

These artworks are great especially the "Lifestyle Wanted" piece which perfectly depicts my boyfriends "ex"! I laughed so hard. It's nice to know we are not alone...

Love it. And my step kids do call me mom. But them hide it with the bio "mom". Guess it's our little secret. I would love to send some of these to the bio mom.

I identify with far too many of these. In fact, I can't wait to share them with my husband. Not only that, it is nice to see so many of my thoughts and feelings put into buth art and humor.

Dear Karen; It is a terrible thing that so many of us can identify with these--so I might as well laugh about it! 'Our' BM is all smiles on the outside, but poisoned skids against me and my bkids. They are turning out to be small copies of her. It's nice to have some great artwork that expresses my feelings without getting 'forever mum' in trouble. Thanks!

They do call me Mommy. And does that ever cause I conflict. Being a stepmom is hard, but the kids aren't the problem.... they're great! I saw so many that were so true in my experiences. It was great!! I'm glad to know others have the same experiences and problems..it's nice not to be alone.

Thank you so much! They brought tears to my eyes....I was laughing so hard! Stacey

absolutly spectacular - where can I purchase these as both postcards and full size prints? Oct. 31, 2000

As the custodial stepmom of a nasty 16 year old girl, I deserve that trophy for not letting her ruin our lives!! God knows, she tried!!! Kudos to Karen for you pictures and to all stepparents for putting up with such a thankless job!!!

I loved the trophy wife!!!!!!! In my opinion, it not the children. It's the parents who are the difficult ones. I find that the children want to be cared for and need schedules and discipline they can count one.

Karen, Your work says what I didn't even know I was thinking until I saw it! Being a stepmother is fine. Putting up with the mother of the stepchild is the most difficult thing I've ever endured in my life.

Is it really this bad to be a stepmom? This truly saddens me. The pictures are clever and say a lot with few words, I'll give the artist that. But all the bitterness expressed? Does it have to be this way??? Doesn't anyone have a good relationship with the ex?

It just feels good to laugh about it....thank you SO much....I will not be a resentful bitch..haha. I am using it as wallpaper, wish I could put it in the bathroom. Three precious step-munchkins 5, 8, 10, and she-who-must-not-be-named. The mothers day wish was almost a tear-jerker. It feels so good to know you all are out there somewhere!! And God Bless all of you who are going through the sole custody battles. Signed, Your fellow cell-mate/broken-in-trophy wife/counselor for the disturbed little people/punching bag for the X/and damn appreciative art critic p.s. Do you suppose in our after-life we will come back as judges of family law? Woo-hoo !!

AWESOME ART !!!!!!!!!

Would LOVE to see one with a calendar marking down the days of child support and ending with a picture of two going on a cruise or trip around the world! That is our plan as soon as we pay the bitch off! Would be different if the money were actually being spent on the child instead of her buying all of her clothes from Goodwill and having the child make all of her own school lunches because they "cost too much"! (my stepdaughter is ten... wish she were 22 and out of college or 18 and married or in the army!!) Was just taken back to court after five years and the judge told the bitch that we're OVERPAYING $16/mo. Secret?? Invest MORE into the 401(k) from yearly increases at work so it comes off the W-2 when she wants more. Just a little "new wife" or "other mother" secret to share with fellow cellmates..., er, i mean mothers.

Excellent....makes me realize I am not the one who is CRAZY! Loved every single one!

I looked at these, and thought they hit the absolute spot most step mothers feel about the ex's and the children. I am known as 'mum', and she is known as 'mummy'. My husband (according to her), is 'daddy' and the ex's now husband is 'dad'. An absolutely wonderful gallery though, I wish I could send these pictures to the ex. and more step-moms (and stepdads) could see these. WE'RE NOT ALONE!

I WISH MORE SM KNEW ABOUT THIS CLUB, MY HUSBAND'S EXWIFE SIMPLY REFUSES TO GET A LIFE OF HER OWN. SHE IS SO HELL BENT ON TRYING TO RUIN OUR LIVES THAT SHE DOESNT REALIZE HOW MUCH SHE HURTS HER KIDS IN THE PROCESS. AND IT IS ALL ABOUT MORE MONEY TO SUPPORT HER DRINKING AND SPENDING HABITS. THE COURTS DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY, ME AND MY SON DON'T COUNT BECAUSE WE CAME SECOND AS FOR AS THEY'RE CONCERNED. I TRY REALLY HARD NOT TO BE A RESENTFUL BITCH.

I COULD IDENTIFY WITH ALMOST ALL THE ILLUSTRATIONS, THEY WERE REALLY GREAT!

They are ALL great! I wish I could send everyone to my worst nightmare!

THANK YOU!!! I bookmarked almost everyone of them onto my husbands comp. I can't wait to hear/see his response!

WOW, I'm at a loss for words...I will say that I'm sad though..sad because there are so many of us that suffer. I am one. Married to my husband of 7 years(together for 11), and having to deal with a step-daughter has been VERY hard(for everyone)...but we have finally made it through the "dark" side. With alot of help from above stepfamilies and stepmother's and stepchildren can work and form a close bond...we did! I love this site. Thank You!

The "Stepparent Pledge of Allegiance" was the only thing that has made me laugh about the poor behavior of my stepkids! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

KAREN YOU ARE AN AMAZING ARTIST!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVED ALL THE GRAPHICS AND THE CONTENTS. SOME OF THEM WERE HYSTERICAL AND SAD. I PRINTED THEM AND I'M HANGING THEM UP IN MY OFFICE, THEY AFFECTED ME VERY MUCH. THANK YOU

Your work is soooo great! Every picture was definitely a description of being a stepmom/2nd wife. My favorite was the sampler, you know, protect our home from "her". You really understand all the JUNK that 2nd wives have to navigate around. I'm beginning to see the "light at the end of the tunnel" after 6 years of marriage because one of my 3 stepchildren (17yr.) is finally seeing with his OWN eyes what an illogical, controlling, vengeful mom he has. (Can you say, "More money"?) We never had to say a word---she did it all herself. We just took the high road---that isn't always fun!---and now we're reaping the reward. Now, if only the 12yr.old and 14yr.old weren't still drinking the koolaid... Thanks for a bringing a smile and laughter into my day! TKY

WOW! What a unique and accurate expression of what it's really like to be a SM. I saw a couple of comments that I've actually said over the years -- amazing to see them here with such strong a strong visual message. Great job, Karen!

Absolutely Amazing! I have truely been touched today...however it makes me feel sadness and anger that most of have to live this way and at how the children are made to suffer in ways they probably may never understand.. I love your work Karen..it hits home! Peace

Bless you Bless you Bless you! My b-day is coming up and while my partner tries desperately to make it important, this is the second year thay the SS is here...how convenient....the bitch does this on purpose because she's gone through my public records and found out all pertinent info...it is frustrating and I am so grateful to you that you put into pictures what so often we cannot say...I wish I could hug you, you have made my life! I'm not alone! I have the "Happy Holidays" up on the computer as wallpaper and I don't care who sees it! I'm tired of being "mum". Thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking for us "second wives".

Thank you for giving me something to share with my husband who frequents the Nintendo Game with one of my stepchildren during visitations while I do all the laundry for our family of seven, clean a two story house, deal with his ex and her daily postcards, and phone calls and I can't forget his family who treats his kid better then mine. Oh yeah, I chose this life. At least that's what my husband tells me when I ask him to help. Thank you for helping me see that I'm not alone in my frustration! Wonderful work!

"Bravo" "Bravo" Way to go Karen!

I laughed at the first few and just shook my head in agreement on a lot of the others. Stepparenting is a tough job, that is for sure. I enjoyed seeing my thoughts drawn out so accurately. I've shared a few with my husband, too. Thank you!

I died with laughter on a few, and cried in anger on some others. You are truly an inspiration to all the "other mothers" out there. Thank you

how true, I have other ideas too!

It is good to know that there are many others, I am not alone! This will help me keep a smile on my face!

How true the art is....especially about the stepson calling on mother's day. How appropriate for my personal situation!

it is so true. (unfortunately) it's nice to know there are others in this situation. i at least have comfort in the fact i'm not an insane b**ch for thinking like i do!! thanks

I will not be a resentful b*tch I will not be a resentful b*tch I will not be a resentful b*tch I will not be resentful, b*tch! I love it!! Every single image hit home and I pray for the day my SD will call me on Mothers Day. Thank you so much for the experience. You've given words to so many situations that usually leaves me spaechless.

I loved the gallery!! For an otherwise difficult and often times THANKLESS role, the gallery works not only expressed what I often think and feel, but the pieces made me laugh and smile. Thanks

How true! Every bit of it! I'm living through the hell right now. The re-routing of our mail to her house, and the inquiries into every business that we receive this mail from, having to put codes on everything so that she can't tamper with it, the harassing phone calls, the obscenities, foul language, the shreeking. You see, I am having a baby. That is our crime. My husband is a deadbeat and unworthy father, although he has never failed to support his children or be involved in their lives. They've been divorced for eight years, she left him for someone else, and this fight has been going on since then. But, alas, it is somehow all my fault, though I didn't even know my husband at the time. I am wicked and cruel. How dare I make him happy, or give him a child he will actually get to have daily involvement with! And I am not handling this very well. I am a wreck after all the insults and threats. I cry all the time, but there's nowhere to turn. Its my fault for marrying someone who is supposed live his days in slavery till the children are 18. And what were we thinking having a child of our own. How irresponsible of us! 1/3 of his pay goes to support that one child, but it wasn't like that until after we were married and I became pregnant. So, does this art get viewed by general audiences as well? They need to be made aware. We can talk to ourselves all we want, but nothing will change unless the general population begins to realize that there is a serious problem here.

Thank you, Most of them touched my heart and made me cry. Some I didnt understand too well, but then im just a new stepmom of only 6 months. but have already done the court thing. and had to hear the lies that the courts believe!!!!!

I want to thank you for having all these works accessible to those of us who need it, unfortunately. The holiday one hit home, as the X knew it was my birthday and called a half dozen times, threatening to bring their 4-year-old son over for an unscheduled overnight visit. I will use these images to cope with the meanest person i've ever met. thank you for helping.

I loved the vigilence piece. Our court date is next Tuesday where she is trying to get sole custody and that piece depicted my feelings that I had been having trouble expressing. BRAVO and thanks for helping me out.

I loved this gallery! So much is sooo true. My stepchildren were put through hell during their parents' divorce, and are still used as tools by their mother. They also play their father against their mother which makes me angry, but I know they are just trying to survive a terrible situation. It was so great to see my feelings put into words and pictures. I even put the Brady Bunch picture on my computer as wallpaper! Thanks so much!!

Fantastic !! Especially "The Fine Print" - so true - we get to cook for them and clean up after them but any real decisions regarding their welfare are made by "Mum and Dad". Although my partner did give me a card from the cat on Mothers Day so things might be looking up. *hugs* Jo Barry

Excellent- the art really hits home and makes me smile- for a change!

So my feelings are reasonable and understandable. Thanks!

This was great! I really enjoyed reading this! I am engaged to be married and my fiance has 2 kids, age 9 and 5. We have been together for 4 years. Although the kids do not call me mom (which is fine), they do recognize me as their parent or introduce me to their friends as their mom. I love the kids with all of my heart and I treat them as if they are my biological children. I do not plan on having kids of my own anyway. Having 2 of them.. definitely enough! Haha. Their real mother hasn't seen them for over 1 year and barely makes contact. One thing I wanted to share.. I'm not sure if the other mothers go through this.. I hear this a lot from the kids "But daddy said.." trying to undermine "the other mother's" authority. Any of you go through that, too??

WONDERFUL! I want to share it with my husband so he can see I'm not alone. I hope he can get past the negative/anger that we all feel and comes out in the art and see the call for healing as the writeup implies. A million thanks from a burnt out step mom who's husband and 3 step kids are currently on vacation without her.

What a great show! Certainly visualizes the incredible frustrations a stepmother has.....I especially liked the one about the ignoring of the stepmother's birthday and the upheaval (lack of peace) during holidays......GREAT JOB Madam Artist.....Certainly puts up a warning for those contemplating marrying a divorced or single man with children from another relationship. Thanks!

It was so insightful!! I never realized that our situation and the unthinkable things that are happening are so commonplace!! Thank you for showing this to me, and my friends who are facing the same bs. I laughed and knodded profusely at every page!!

I loved all the art, it seems to show our household! You made me laugh outloud!

I loved all those images, you really have made me smile!

Absolutely fabulous! I've been a step-mom for 2 painful years and this is the first time I've seen the struggle so eloquently illustrated.

You have put a smile on my face.Keep up the good work.

^5 to Karen. I've been a "bonus-mom" for 8 years now. Why is it that I'm always 2nd??? Hmmmm....geuss we all know don't we!!

I'm engaged. The step child is wonderful, his father is divine. For the first time I feel that I can make a relationship work for a lifetime. Thanks for putting into words and pictures all of the things I have been feeling. When I get married in November to a wonderful man, I inherit a woman who has declared herself my sworn enemy, whom I have never met. I am planning to spend at least one week for the next twelve years in court, if we can't find some way to prevent her from continuously suing for full custody. Perhaps the court system could get some wisdom about this? We understand now why they are divorced-some of the first wives' wonderful personalities shine through their actions. But how can we create a culture where it is appropriate to be respectful of the new stepfamily, at least when the ex-wife was the one who wanted the divorce? (It's not as if she has been abandoned). Thanks for the community building art.

Thanks for saying a mouthful! I've been a step-mom for 5 years and a mother for 3 years. As much as I love my husband I don't think I would do it all over again. I am involved with self-centered people (Ex-wife & Step-son)and they don't even consider myself or daughter as part of the equation.

Way cool!!!! I am dealing with it lots better, although it has been almost 4 years. That helps, alot!!!!! Funny stuff!!!

It's just such a relief to know it's not just me!

Enjoyed your "Gallary".. Thank you for making me smile Gingerr

I wholeheartedly agree with the "Happy Holidays" print. It so succintly sums up what my life as a stepmother is all about, and his childred are all over 32.

Awesome, just what the therapist ordered. Keep up the good work and thank you for brightening a downer day!

Brilliant! Thanks for putting into art-form what we all feel at one time or another!

Absolutely incredible!! I feel we are kindred spirits -- thank you for artistically validating what most of us "live". Where can we buy posters? Jan in Kansas City

FABULOUS!!!!!!

This has been the first time in 2 years that i knew that someone else felt the same as i do. and it was funny too. i think i will show my husband this art gallery. laura

Sad to say, but, I could relate to all of the pictures. I don't feel so alone anymore or crazy. Somehow, you are always the one with the problem when it comes to step-children and ex-wives. Thank-you!!!

Great!!!

I like it. It has the feel of those World War 2 warning posters.

Outstanding Karen! Thank you! Signed, The woman who will "never be your stepmother-just-your father's new wife"...

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Loved everyone of them...great job!!!!!

Wow! Those images are true and sad at the same time. Nice job!

Karen...I just loved all your art concerning the "other mother." The Brady Bunch one hit my heart and home. There is no Alice in my home! You brought out a lot of feelings that I think I had stuffed deep down inside, in fear of letting this stepmother stuff get to me. Thanks again for taking the time to express what reality can really be for us stepmothers. Christy :)

I haven't made the "jump" yet to second wife, but am considering it! This art was fantastic and right on target-though it makes me reconsider my impending doom.....

OUTSTANDING! I was most moved by Parental Confidantes and Li'l Soldiers. Step-parenting (I have an 8-yr-old step-daughter) is the silliest job in the world! If adults would just behave like adults... anyway, my husband finally told his step-mom how much he appreciated her Mommy-ing him earlier this year, after our son was born. My husband is 42--hang on, ladies! You'll get your thanks one day!

All the art "represented" at least some of the emotions I feel from time to time-My favorite one is the warning--I have personal experience with this one--I was warned when my husband and I married that "by the holidays I will make your life a living Hell" and so it was and forever will be, thus spoke the "EX"

Thank you so much - that was incredible. I didn't know that all my feelings could be described in that way. I want everyone I know to see this - to see how my life really is!

Tells it like it is!! I printed off a few. It is so nice to know I am not alone!

absolutly wonderful. It actually makes me feel better. It isn't like I will ever be able to hang this wonderful art my house, but it just makes me feel better.

Thank you Karen! The holidays piece was the best! My birthday went unnoticed by his kids this year and I thought I was just overreacting and being silly-thanks for making me feel normal-keep up the great work! Heather

I loved it and even printed out a few. I had a hard Mother's Day as I was not even acknowledged by my husband. Seems it truely is the hardest job and the most thankless. I also enjoyed everyone's comments. I wish I could sit down over coffee and keep sharing with you all. Thank-you. LL

Being a stepmother, these hit home with me. It shows so wonderfully the feelings that just ache inside us sometimes. The one that really got me is "Sick with frustration, the "strict house" watches the kids hang themselves from the excess rope of Mommy's "Unconditional Love.""

This very accurately portrays how a stepmother feels. I have felt all these emotions having been a stepmom for 11 years to 3 daughters of whom my husband had primary custody so I had a large part in helping raise them to adulthood. There was little financial help from the ex and little cooperation. It is helpful to know other stepmom's have experienced similar frustration with their role.It seems being a stepmom is a lot work and not many moments of appreciation. There must be a special reward in heaven for stepmoms. M.

I am speechless and utterly touched.

simply amazing. this needs to get spread around. congratulations on truly putting thoughts and feelings into a very moving display of graphics. signed: a stepmom with ALL of the issues you have respresented!

We are living for the 'sake of the children'...so painful, so angry, so right on the money..and the money and the money....always wondering if this is the life I want to live...there is so little left for us...

That was fabulous! Nice work, and SO TRUE!

Most incredible, fabulous, heart touching art work I have ever seen. My life is in the images that I just saw. Magnificent job! I can't wait to show this to my husband. I so want him to understand my position. Thanks! I enjoyed this so much!

Great range of feelings were displayed. I realted to several of them while several others help me feel thankful for my husbands cooperation in dealing with his ex-spouse. It is so comforting to know that the experience of being a stepmother is shared and expressed by other women who are couragious enough to speak out. Thank you all!!!

Truly awesome and realistic.....

After another night of putting up with "her" garbage and demands, nothing could have summed up my inner pains and sorrows so well. Beautiful. Done so well. Wish I could send this to her but then I would only be sued for harrasement! Thanks for my smile today.

Truly inspiring. Thank you.

These pieces were beautiful! So many emotions expressed with so few words. Thankyou